You’re closing an important chapter in your life and preparing to write a new one, but you aren’t sure where to start. You’ve followed through with divorce mediation and finalized your divorce. Now, you find yourself at a crossroads in your life where you are faced with an important question; how can you reinvent yourself and live your life after divorce?
You’ve conditioned yourself to rely on someone else and walk through life with a partner. That partner has transitioned out of your life and may have even assumed the role of Public Enemy #1. According to the CDC’s divorce statistics, more than one million people are in your position every year. We know that this is a terrifying time, but we’re here to help. We’ve compiled a list of tips for living life after divorce that includes everything from improving self-confidence to dating after divorce.
Here are our 6 tips for living life after divorce:
1. Understand That There is Pain After Divorce
You need to be prepared to feel the pain and to work through processing it. There is no escaping it, but there is a better life waiting for you on the other side. Processing this pain is a huge step in moving forward and whether you see it now or not, it is making you stronger and wiser.
2. Make a Bucket List
Make a list of things that you want to do, and do them. Your list can include anything from seeing that movie that you never got the chance to see to taking a trip to an exotic location that you’ve always wanted to visit. You can add anything from a simple outing for a pedicure to an elaborate adventure in purchasing that car you have had your eye on. This list is your opportunity to find yourself again and remember or explore what makes you happy. Its purpose is to give you something to look forward to and bring you joy. You deserve happiness after divorce.
3. Embrace Support
Life after divorce is hard, but there are people in your corner that want to be there for you. Let them. Communicate to them how they can best support you to ensure that their support is constructive. Some days, you will crave silence and relaxation. Don’t be afraid to tell them this. Other days, you will need a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. They need to know this. These sad days will become fewer and farther between and the support that you will need as time progresses is the kind that builds you up and puts a smile on your face. Let them help you remember how to enjoy life.
4. Make Plans
Your goals in life shifted when you decided to spend the rest of your life with someone. You found a middle ground so that you could support your spouse’s goals along with your own. Your goals are all your own now, and you can tailor them to the life that you choose to live after divorce.
You need to make plans to advance toward these goals. Make plans as small as getting together at a local coffee shop with some friends and as big as working toward the career goals that you have had on the back burner all these years. These plans give you something to look forward to and the motivation to work toward something.
5. Dating After Divorce
Dating after divorce can be a horrifying, but when you are ready for it, it will help you move forward. Once you are certain that you are prepared to handle dating after divorce, you can ease back into it slowly.
You get to feel those butterflies the first time you hold someone’s hand. You have the opportunity to experience the thrill of a first kiss again. In order to live life after divorce to the fullest, you need to step out of your comfort zone. If you use the lessons that you learned from your marriage, you can make better choices the next time around.
6. Refuse to Look at Your Divorce as a Failure
There is a reason why you chose to get a divorce and you were strong enough to decide that you deserved better. Now it is your job to be strong enough to refuse to look at this decision as a failure. You have been given the opportunity to choose the kind of life you want to live after divorce. You can move forward armed with the knowledge that this experience has given you and build the life that you have been longing for. This, my friends, is the definition of success.
We know that life after divorce seems terrifying. Once the fog of the pain starts to lift, though, it can be a beautiful thing. Embrace the fear and realize the possibilities. We’ll say it again; you deserve happiness after divorce.